I’ve been doing a lot of writing over the last 6 - 12 months, mainly to my therapist but still. I also took an official ADD/IQ test thing and yeah i have like borderline ADD but it turns out im also well above average in writing proficiency. maybe i should get some people to read some stuff ive written. if i know you in real life let me know if you’re interested.
By talking with my therapist ive learned/revealed some things about myself. I am pretty fucked up Mentally/Emotionally. i have enough problems and defenses for 2-3 people.
BILL WATTERSON ‘A cartoonist’s advice’
i’m not gonna be back at FRED this semester. i really wanted to be able to go back to see my friends and continue RandomActs. i really thought i was going to be “fixed” by now but i’m not. I’ll try to visit when i can.
i know its been a while and i was actually going to post some positive stuff this time. i have been working on fixing myself this entire break with the help of a therapist and we have made progress. identified a lot of good things. but now that im at the finish line we identify something else. now im right back where i was, maybe even farther back. i had childhood traumas when i was a kid. so we’ve realized that whenever i face or have faced anything difficult: big decisions, making friends, any nonsexual adult choices, etc. i internally revert to the emotional mentality of my 5-6 yr old self (simplified summary). and with only a few days, mere hours away from school starting again…things are happening… i may not be going back to school this semester. i’ll keep you posted.
i broke my hand.
on the bright side i think i magically became ok with the difficult thing in my life.
i’m 22 today. i had a similar feeling when i turned 21, but it’s stronger now. and that feeling is…indifference and maybe a bit of sadness. i didn’t even remember that my birthday was coming up until two days ago.
For those who actually follow what i post you know i have been having a rather tough time for almost the past year…. i don’t even know where i’m going with this.
i’m not really getting anything this year for my birthday. i don’t want stuff or things. i just want someone to be with, to hold, to love.